300808

got something important to talk huh???
something really important to talk!!!!!
i guess it was not really tat important!!!!
coz ruining it is far more important!!!!
not just tat,i bet im not gonna cu for the rest of the weekend!!!!
u know tats just freaking great!!!!!
argh!!!!
God,y do You av to put all these on me???
y must i suffer like these???
i know i can do it but y???
am i not good enough???
am i tat bad???
im not worth it huh???
i did my best God but wat did i got back???
migrain???
suffering???
heartache???
y dun You just take me away???
u noe wat
find me if u want me
ditch me if u dun!!!!!
enuf wit the suffering
i might lost my mind!!!!!

to tat particular gal,do read tis plss...

Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you’re not "popular" if you’ve slept with more than 6 guys..you’re a HOE)*i dun do slut whether i like it or not*

--Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.*i flirt wit u n i think bout u je..thehehehe*

--Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.*u know tats true kn??tats y i ask u to smile once in a while*

--Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him*hahaha*

--Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest*current??*

--Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.*i ask d same 2things everyday,u think on wat purpose?*

--Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend*hahaha..damn rite*

--Guys get jealous easily. --Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

--Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out*now u noe y i acted like tat*

--Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like*hmmmm*

--A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you*did i do tis??*

--Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships*hmmmm*

--Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.*end up migrain*

--Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.*to anybody yg kenal aku,tats y i went to seek from them!!!*

--When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

--If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.*pay attention to tis ok!!!*

--If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don’t say you aren’t. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don’t want you to disagree with them.*jgn kutuk diri sendiri coz i hate it*

--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.*hmmm*

--Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.*hmmm*

--Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

--If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don’t say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren’t interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

--Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.*:)*

230808 1555

big thing just happen
i made someone cried
dunno wat ive done but it happened
tried to figure it out but still at d same spot
n now y do i av the feeling everything is falling apart
place where i can say,share,listen doesnt like it anymore
it seems like everything has changed
maybe its true
being back n near once again
but d differences are too mcuh for me
now i felt like i dont even belong here
hahaha
funny tat rite now im listening to norah jones
"wat am i to u??"
well i guess i av to figure things out by myself

230808 0515am

i cant get my sleep
i just cant
i passed out tak tau kul bape for almost an hour
skt kepala mcm haram
MIGRAIN!!!
so i end up loitering here n there

went out to mamak
my bestie asked me to accompany him
kuar umah dgn dua2 tak bwk kunci umah
n kunci kete
then got locked from outside
lucky tat ada i window yg tak kunci
managed to get myself inside n take d keys
ate roti canai yg keras mcm haram
wit kuah dal masin macam FU**
came back home
tried to sleep but again takleh
i checked everything tat i can here on d net
video,clips,songs,blogs
n then i came across her blog
she posted something new
but i wished i never open her blog
i discovered something tat just add headache to my migrain
FU** ar
y tis keep on happening??
i noe tat i shudnt b feeling anything
but im only human
no matter how hard i tried
there's nothing really much i can do about it
so here i am
skt ati,skt kepala,skt everything..
do i really av to go through these??
yes i do..
coz i love her..
if anybody cud read my damn mind,see wats inside my stupid heart..
n let her noe..
ya Allah
is tis 1 of among d dugaan yg aku perlu hadapi
just to get to her
aku rela
even aku skt gila babi
i syukur
biar ia jadi agung di mata aku
n aku harap if sesape nampak
ia tetap agung di mata mereka
d journey is still far
far from d end
but i hope the end wud b a happy one
but if it doesnt
well i just put a smile on my face
even i cried inside
coz d love tat i feel
is far more important than anything
(except for the love to You)
tabah kan aku
cekal kan aku
dlm perjalanan ini

Aku Mau

Kau boleh acuhkan diriku
Dan anggap ku tak ada
Tapi takkan merubah perasaanku
Kepadamu

Kuyakin pasti suatu saat
Semua kan terjadi
Kau kan mencintaiku
Dan tak akan pernah melepasku

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Selalu bersedia bahagiakanmu
Apapun terjadi
Kujanjikan aku ada


Kau boleh jauhi diriku
Namun kupercaya
Kau kan mencintaiku
Dan tak akan pernah melepasku

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Aku yang rela terluka
Untuk masa lalu

tis song inspire me so much..
this is definitely how i feel about u..
every single words means everything that i am to u..
so wud u pls stop doin wat ure doin to me..
just enjoy the ride wit no regrets ok..
no matter wat is d ending will b..
happy or not..
i will love u still..
n forever it will be..

What Am I To You

i just dunno y im in d mood to share lyrics from songs tat i think suit me here..
but tis song by Norah Jones is only for tat particular person..
if u come across tis post which i hope u will..
do read it up :)

What am I to you?
Tell me darlin' true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue


When you're feelin' low
To whom else do you go?
I'd cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so


Now if my sky should fall
Would you even call?
I've opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm givin' you the ball


When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I'll love you when you're blue
But tell me darlin' true
What am I to you?

so dear
wat am i to u??
not an ordinary person i hope..
even i cant b d best thing happen in ur life..
i hope there is a place for me there in ur heart..
at least some place where u'll think n remembers me even once in a blue moon..
i love u n i noe u realise tat for sure..
coz ive been crystal clear bout it since day 1 rite??
:)

Kekasih Terakhir

i came across tis song by melly goeslow..
n i think it fit me d most..
tears running through my eyes when i listen to tis song..
it might sound a bit emotional or jiwang watsoeva u ppl say it is..
but im sure anybody in my position will feel d same..
so here's d lyrics..
so guys,
got the meaning??
cherish d wording huh..

Ku tak pernah punya hati
Untuk meninggalkan engkau
Hanya kau sisa hidupku
Tanpamu lebih baik mati

Ku menahan rasa luka
Bila kau membenci aku
Bila kah Tuhan mendengar
Bisikan hatiku yang hancur

Mencintaimu hati hampa kini terisi
Didekatmu hatiku tenang
Hanya kau pelipur laraku
Mencium engkau bisa juga tenangkan jiwa
Seluruh yang ada di engkau
Bagiku ini karunia

Saat jiwaku terguncang
Pelukanmu menyembuhkan
Kau tak bisa digantikan
Bagiku kau kekasih yang terakhir

story of my life part 1

it was 9th of june 1982..
about 4am in d morning..
my mom said even i was d first person who came out from her stomach,she said it was not tat hard to deliver me..
i dunno wat was my weigh but im pretty sure tat i was big
haha..
i was born in kem batu 5,mentakab pahang..
my dad was an army for 2RAMD..
my mom was a housewife..well still a housewife..
well there's nothing much to tell since i dun quite remember wat happen back then..
i was a kid
im sure im just like any other kid on this planet earth..
but there's a story tat i remember when i was 5
dad brought us to langkawi for vacation
n if i didnt mention anything above,i already has a sister who r 3years old younger than me..
it was fun
i can remember playing at d beach wit my dad
n here's the thing
i got circumcised rite after i got back from langkawi
n the funny part is it happened bcoz when i was there,i didnt clean myself well enuf
i remember it was in a hospital when d doc finish doin his job i was kicking everybody coz i cant stand d pain i had at tat moment..
my dad,nurses n doc..they all get a piece..hehe

then i started my kindergarden time like a big man
hahaha
coz i think im d only one who r big enuf
:P
i was doing well during tat year
i was a smart kid
finish 1st but i remember i cried like hell coz i cant take my prize for being the smartest kid there
coz i av to follow my dad n our family coz we're moving to sri aman sarawak..
by passenger ship..
hahaha
it was fun!!!!
but there's a story i wana tell bout a scar tat i got when i was 6
i was playing outside
waiting for my uncle to get back from work(which lived next door..i love tis guy coz he's kinda cool)
then i saw he walking n i started to run to him
happily
coz i noe he will pick me up n put me on his shoulder(who dun love piggy back when ure small is totally an idiot)
well unlucky for me i tripped n fell head 1st in a drain..
i still got my piggy but not goin to my home but to d clinic
i remember d nurse cleansing my wound
i was crying like hell(im sure most of us know wat kind of pain ive been through rite??)
end of story
if any of u guys who's reading tis might av the chance to meet me,kindly ask me to show my forehead coz the scar is still there..:)
so back to the journey to sarawak
it was a 4days 3nights trip
i can remember how sea sick i was
i can remember how hard for me to fall asleep
i can remember how excited i was seeing dolphins chasing our ship
well as far as i can recall
tat r the only thing i can remember
hahaha...
well tats d story of me growing up from year 1 till 6years old
i was like any ordinary kid
doing stupid things
being a menace
got scolded,collecting scars..
playing around
n it was fun
n frankly,im glad tat i can still remember quite a lot of wat happen back then..
n im grateful tat i was born into tis world..

freaking 20/08/08

well i shud started my day wit lotsa happy on my face but i did not..
prior to things i have to face..
my own freaking problems..
here's the thing..
i hate when people made a promise but end up not doing it..
i just hate it..
n when it relates to me,urgh i just cant stand it..
well someone made a promise to me..
someone who i damn sure pretty important in my life(well i hope she felt d same way towards me)..
not a big deal actually but as i said when it come down to promises,i cant tolerate even a bit..
promised u would col,but none until now..
u kept me waiting..
not tat i hate waiting tat much but..
cant u just let me know tat u cant call me??at least a simple text telling ure too busy to do it..
i wud definitely understand..
keeping me waiting is not an option at all..
now tat not only u kept me waiting,u made me worried,stress n not to mention mad of the situation u put me through..
now im having my damn migrain..
i cant focus on my work..
i literally cant do anything..
i cant even stop thinking of this matters..
where the hell r u??
r u ok??
r u home??
what happened??
not tat im blaming u on wat is happening but please consider others feeling coz im quite sure tat im not just another plain person in ur life..
what do i have to do except to just accept??
damn..
i really hope there's a very good explanation..
i'll keep on waiting..
hope u'll come to ur senses tat im here..

wat’s d use??

wats d use of loving a person wit all our heart if they're not ours???
wats d use of giving everything but we got nothing in return???
wats d use of sacrificing if we cant see wat is d return tat we wil get bak???
wats d use of hoping if we quite sure of wats goin to happen in d future???
wats d use of missing a person when that person is wit somebody else???
wats d use of understanding if they cant understand us???
wats d use of give n take if all we do is giving???
wats d use of love if its complicated???
wats d use of relationship if wat we have looks like unreal???
wats d use of us if there is more than us???
wats d use of all these huh???
but do i look like i care???
tats make me still standing here
coz i dun giv a damn
coz wat i do giv a damn is being wit u

im losing her

God
y is tis happening??
everyday i pray tat tis wudnt come
but y ini yg jd??
y must it come down to tis??
y must it b tis complicated??
y is it hard 4me to get to her??
y is it so difficult 4me to win her heart??
it seems like everything was fine but now??
but i choose tis path so bitter or not i just av to keep on walking kan??
im here as always
praying tat 1day she'll walk wit me
n im sure tat day will come
even its gonna take 20years more
or maybe 4eva
coz aku degil
n im not letting go of anything
coz i wanna make tis
d greatest love in my life
even i cant live long enuf to make it happen
but at least i manage to live long enuf to see myself loving her
God
if tis is d test U put on me
im glad tat U do
coz i noe i can b strong enuf to get through
n i noe its worth a fight
n i promise myself
i wud giv a hell b4 i die
coz im not quiting
not even close
bring everything against me
not gonna change a thing
its just gonna make me more tough
more degil n more bebal
coz y??
bcoz i love so damn fucking much!!!

im happy!!!

1st half of tis year passed me with so many freaking problems
lotsa shit,crap wateva bad words u can describe had happened to me
n july...i thot everything will just continue to make my life miserable
but i was wrong
He always there for His makhluk2 yg hidup di muka bumi nih
n He showed me tat no matter teruk my life was
He still got plan for me
n i thank Allah 4bringing tat person in my life
a person who i can love
a person u can taught me how to go through tis life even everybody is not around
how to stand up
how to b happy
even how to eat
even i didnt av anything in tis world
but having tat person make my life feel so complete
i dun av to think tat im a loser
coz she made me feel like i got everthing
she's proud for wat i am
acknowledge me
recognize me
support me
she's always there 4my ups n downs
n all i wana do is to make her proud of me
to make her happy
as long as i live my life is only for her
to tat particular person
i just wana let u noe
how important u r to me
n i love u so damn freaking much
n i do wish n pray to Him tat no matter wat we will b together in d future
i love u!!!

why

ya Allah
y do You giv me some1 tat is so special but i cant get on hold to her??
y do You giv me a chance to love some1 so pure so sincere but she cant b mine??
y do i av to so close but yet i feel she's still far away??
y do i feel hopeless though i feel d love between us firing up??
y do i feel like there is still possibility tat i wont get to her

ya Allah
i need Ur guide
i need her in my life
i love her
with all my heart
i want her in my life
i want to cherish her
i want to pamper
i want to make her happy

ya Allah
let us b together
let us walk tis life as a beatiful loving couple
yg Kau redhai
yg Kau rahmati
yg Kau sayangi
yg Kau berkati

*amen*

Allah Maha Kaya

you dunno how true what people always say bout things in life
until 1day it happens n u have to face it
well there is a say where people use to say tat Allah can give u everything n can take it away in just in a blink of an eye
well i never trusted it 100% but today Allah show me what it does look like
n hell its more painful than anything tat i have been through

He gave me happiness n i thank Him 4giving me tat when i needed the most
He showed me tat in life,there is always another chance
another chance 4u to turn a new leaf
another chance 4u to love again
to gain love
to cherish n being cherish
to feel wanted
to feel happiness

but today He showed me a lesson
everything doesn't last forever
except for Him
n He can always take what He gave just like tat
n i learned my lesson
but i do appreciate Him 4 giving me tat
i learned to stand up when i fell
i learned tat no matter what He is my inspiration
no matter what i always got Him to turn to

ya Allah
aku bersyukur Kau tunjuk kan aku jln ini
aku bersyukur Kau berikan aku dia
aku bersyukur Kau berikan aku dugaan ini
untuk aku sedar jauh mana aku telah sesat dan melencong
untuk aku jadi lebih tabah
untuk aku jadi insan yg lebih berguna

ya Allah
aku pohon hanya satu
aku ingin dia bahagia walau bukan dgn aku
kerana peluang yg Kau berikan tak dapat aku penuhi
dan aku pohon
jika diberi satu lagi peluang
aku ingin dia tahu
yg aku sentiasa ada seperti mana yg aku janjikn
terhadapnya

*amen*

kesayangan ku

kamo
kesayanganku
tak tau nk gambarkn mcm mana aku syg kt kamo
Tuhan je tau
n aku rasa kamo pon tau macam mana kan??
sbb syg aku kt kamo
waduh tiada belah baginya
sbb kamo
kesayanganku

kamo
yg ku cintai
aku nk kau tau
bahawa kamo
jiwaku
kamo nih lah hatiku
kamo lah hidup ku
tanpa kamo
kosong hidup ku
busan hidup ku
tak berseri hidup ku
kamo bawa senyum di muka ku
kamo bawa bahagia utk ku

kamo
ttp akan menjadi milik ku
ttp akan menjadi kepunyaan ku
jgn nk ngada2 g kt org len
kerana aku janji akan sepak kamo kuat2!!!

aku syg kamo
sepenuh hati ku
syg kamo!!!!